what a terrible new year! it started out okay, baught a new house with my hubby and son, and then what happens? we move in and my husband starts to act all weird, spending more time at work then at home with us, and staying out untill all hours of the night. i just keep thinking that if i was pretty enough or thin enough then he would want to be home with me instead of all the beautiful waitresses where he works. i dont know what hes doing, and maybe thats a good thing. im just so confused, i dont know what to do. HELP!

anyone else gotten messages like this?

how can you have an ED, if you weigh.. 173.8=12.4 are you like REALLY tall or something? it was from a person named lighteningscene?  

deffinatly made me feel like shit. i shouldnt take it personal though. good fuel for today. killed my excitement over my 1.6 lb weight loss.
wtf????

 nothing is seeming to  work for me. i am so frustrated! why was it soo much easier 10 years ago? I have so much going on and i am so nervous about making jeff moveback into my parents house.  what if this breaks up our marriage? we have a son and what happens then?  i want everyone to be happy, i worry about other more them myself. god damnit i just want everything to be  the way that it should be. why is that so hard?

this is  soo much harder then the first time.....im older now and i have actually tasted food. but i am doing it. and lying about it, but i guess i dont have to . everyone in my family likes to tell me how much weight that i put on being pregnant and the fact that i am having trouble loosing it. i guess i shouldnt care that they are indifferent too it, this is for me, not them . i want to someday look into the mirror and say, not bad. i think it will be a long time though.   65 pounds total. i almost cut a few nights ago. i wish that i could take a saw to the ugly fat on my stomach and thighs. oh my god this fucking sucks. i hate it when i sit down and i can feel my rolls. im so discusting!
i dont know how my husband deals with looking at me.  he told me on mothers day, my first one that i was unattractive to him due to not losing the baby weight right away.....my life is in turmoil right now

 it was a good night last night.  i must have shrunk my stomach some more cause i wasnt hungry at all!!!! i weighed myself this morning and i lost another 2 lbs. god i hope its not just water weight. i guess i have to wait a few days to find out. tonite is gonna suck, my husband will be home and watching what i eat. oh well, ill just drop a lot of food on the floor and then i cant eat it right? wish me luck!  i feel like im on a high right now, like i have soo much energy to burn.  only a cup of coffee and a peice of ww bread = 70 cal. i bet i can make it with only 200 cal today.  i must have strength, i must have strength

 Lunch was good for me. i only had a cup of lettuce and half of a tomato. mustard by itself actually makes a good dressing, which i didnt expect. does anyone know any other kind of dressing that is tasty but doesnt have calories? or very few.   hope you all had a good day too.

 has anyone used the diet pill lipozene, or is anyone else have kids?

so it was a great weekend! i only ate 600 calories a day and i still lost 7 lbs from last tuesday until saturday morning.  and i lost another 3lbs from saturday until this morning and im at 15 calories today. i hope to lose another 6 lbs this week! yeaaaa that will put me down 16 lbs since i started.  

this sucks so bad. i was made to eat lunch today and im at work so i dont have time or the privacy to purge.  Fucking work! omg i can feel the rolls comming on my stomach, and my thighs. looks like tomarrow is a fast for me.  i feel so nausious.........errrrrr.  besides my diet pills and coffee is there anyway to add to my energy so that i can work out like crazy tonite and not pass out?  has anyone ever tried lipozene? i found it on ebay and want to try it but i dont know if it works. has anyone tried ipicac, and what does it feel like?   

 does anyone know what foods you can eat every two hours and only take in 500 cal a day?

my fat ass caved last night  and i ate a ff jello pudding snack~ did you know that they have 100 cal? i need way more will power, and my husband works at night so its not like im monitored then, but i dont know what i will do this weekend when hes there. anyone know any good ways to hide my restricting without noticing?

Thanks i really need support! 
did anyone watch the show last night on BBC super skinny me? the girl dropped a stone in two weeks.  she was on the detox diet and something else, i think it was the master cleanse. maybe i will try that next week, i need to lose the rolls on my stomach.

 being skinny

okay so how bad does this suck today! i am so hungry but i need to keep drinking the water!  i have 65 lbs of baby weight to take off.  any mother who struggles with this have any tips? my son is not walking yet so chasing him (which is what would make this easier) isnt nessicary yet.  my husband told me he wouldnt be attracted to me until all this ugly weight comes off. help help help. i cant live in this body, its too bad you cant take it all off overnight.